You know how every once in a while you find a blog that is just plain ol’ refreshingly different? Honest. To the point. Relevant. Awesome.
That’s exactly how I felt when I found Justin Mussler’s blog, The Great Family Escape. Justin and his wife, Heidi, are planning to take off with their children to explore our world. They’re planning and working hard to make it happen. And they’re documenting it all on their blog.
I wrote last week about how much work it takes to make your dream come true. Justin is showing us that first hand. He’s documenting the struggles and the breakthroughs. He’s showing us how he and his wife are making it happen.
I asked him to write a guest post for me about why he’s doing this. It would be so much easier for them to toe the line and stick with the status quo. Why rock the boat when they are living a comfortable life in Boston? Here’s his answer:
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Why do I choose travel for my kids? This is something I have thought about often. People ask me this question a lot, and honestly, my answer changes every time.
Some days I’ll say we travel so my children can experience the world and know it with their own eyes and ears. I want them to start their lives with a blank slate and decide what they believe on their own.
Other days I say it’s so they can get a great education and learn of new languages, religions, and history.
And then there is a big part of me that believes traveling the world will teach my kids self-reliance, and if they can become comfortable traveling as children and meeting strangers, they will learn to be comfortable, confident and self-sufficient as adults.
I think it’s fairly obvious for anyone who has traveled, that traveling offers kids opportunities that simply can’t be had at home. The world is knowledge. It’s community. It’s humbling. And I want these things for my children.
That said, I think the real reason we have chosen to travel as a family has much less to do with the world and much more to do with us.
I have 2 children, ages 6 and 3, and I’ve been watching them grow. They are so young, and yet they absorb everything. They remember everything. They are sponges. My kids never stop. They choose play and creativity over TV. They find rubber bands fascinating. I think they couldn’t care less if we travel. For them, life is fresh no matter where they sleep.
And then there’s Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad both work. They begrudgingly drop their children off at school and daycare five days a week and hustle home to eat as a family. They spend an hour or so discussing the day with the kids as they get them ready for bed. Mom and Dad don’t love their jobs, but they push through. Life for them has become a bit stale. They love their kids. They wish they could see them more. They are ready for change.
Our family, Mom and Dad and the kids, is not much different than most. We are middle class Americans. We don’t struggle; we’re not huge success stories. We wake up every morning and go. As long as things don’t blow up, we are pretty much content to watch TV, live between chores on the weekends, and save for retirement.
But I guess for us things blew up. One day we realized that drifting through the same old life wasn’t going to cut it. We weren’t happy. We were bored. Even the kids could see we couldn’t fake it anymore.
Next year we will be traveling the world with our kids. We will be quitting our jobs, pulling the kids out of school, and learning a new life. We will have a wealth of experiences. We will learn new cultures. We will take it all in. But most importantly we will be together as a family every step of the way.
I have had many people tell me there are other ways to be “together” as a family. We could find a way to work from home, go down to a single income, or try and piece together a plan that will provide us with the family time we desire. I’m sure they’re right, but I am not so sure all of that is what we are after.
When in Rome, you do as the Romans do. And when in middle-class, American suburbia, you do as the middle-class do. It’s the way it is. It’s our make up. You stay in one place long enough, you assimilate. I want change, and I haven’t been able to find it so far doing the whole 9-5, mortgage thing.
Travel provides freedom. Constant movement. Change. It provides us the ability to grow together as a family no matter where we are. It challenges us. It forces us to work together. To rely on each other. To grow.
When Heidi and I started thinking of traveling we found Nancy’s site and I saw a picture of her, John, and the boys standing by their campsite somewhere in the Mexican wilderness, and I instantly knew this was what I wanted for us.
Selfish? Maybe. But is dropping my kids off at daycare each day any less selfish? Risky? Maybe, but stuff happens everywhere, and we all take risks. Good for the family and kids? 100% Yes! And as long as this is true, it’s a good thing in my book.
I have worked with children of all ages my entire adult life, it’s pretty much all I know how to do, and yet I am no child expert. In my experience the children who do the best are the ones whose parents are there for them. It’s not the kids who get straight A’s. It’s not the kids who make the football team. It’s the kids who have happy, supportive, involved parents who love who their kids are, and not so much what they do.
Ten years from now my kids might be in high school here in Boston. They might be settled down with us somewhere overseas. Or they might still be traveling. They might be artists or athletes or bookworms. They might not like school. None of that really matters. What matters is that they will have had years of being raised in the world with happy, supportive and enthused parents by their side. Any kid who can say that is lucky.
I am fortunate to be able to travel. Sure I have pinched and sacrificed to be able to do it, but I am still fortunate, and I am not going to waste my good fortune. I’m going to use it.
My kids will be happy anywhere we are happy. And if and when they’re not, we will make a change, just like we’re doing now. The world wasn’t meant to be glanced at through glass. It was meant to be touched, tasted, and felt. I’m gonna try exploring it for a while with my kids, and I think we’ll all be better off for it.
Follow Justin and his family as they make their dream come true: The Great Family Escape
Love, love, LOVE it!! The Musslers are our kind of people and a continual encouragement and inspiration!! All those reasons we travel with our kids… just exactly what Justin said.
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Justin Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:11 pm
@Jenn Miller, Glad to know I’m on the right track Jenn! Thanks for the great support!
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LOVE seeing how far you’ve come along with your planning!! I see great things ahead for you in 2012!!
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Justin Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:12 pm
@Melissa Banigan, Me too! Thanks Melissa. Glad to see things are going so well for you too.
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Justin,
What a GREAT story. This is why we all travel with our kids and you wrote it down in exactly the right words.
“Travel provides us to grow together as a family, no matter where we are.” So true. We don’t have to go to the most interesting place, or as far-away as possible, it’s not about that. It’s about the concept of traveling together and to absorb all that is outside the daily routine at home. I’m not saying daily routine is bad because our body needs routine. But our mind wants (screams) to wander and discover and your kids will be so thankful when they are older!
Emiel
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Very well put Emiel. We feel the same way about it. It’s not so much about destination as it is about just going and wandering. I know I need to do it, it’s just part of me. I think knowing what we need and what we want and finding ways to do it is such a good thing. It’s hard, but very good. This travel life we are seeking gives us such freedom and closeness as a family. I really can’t wait, even though I am enjoying things now.
Thanks!
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Hi Justin –
Your words really resonated with me. We sold our house and everything we owned in 2011, and have been traveling with our kids for two months. It hasn’t been as drastic a change as some – we aren’t planning on leaving the US, and we aren’t doing it on bicycles, but it’s been great so far! Maybe a little more challenging than I anticipated, but when we walk 5 minutes to the beach on the wild Oregon coast, or see with our own eyes how cheese is made, it’s all worth it.
Viva la différence!
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Justin Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:22 pm
@Deb, Good for you Deb! I don’t ever imagine it is easy, but at least you are doing what you want. And you don’t have to leave the US or ride bikes, that doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that you are doing something you believe in and are doing it for the right reasons. Grab those experiences!
It takes time to learn a whole new lifestyle. It took me about 12 months just to fully accept the idea we were doing this. Enjoy it! What you’re doing is perfect!
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I couldn’t agree more. Our kids have had the best fun the last 5 months traveling oz in a kombi. Limited space and belongings. I ve found it hard at times but kids love the freedom. We have stopped to work for now and I almost feel bad putting them back in school
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Justin Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:41 pm
@Natalie, It is hard, but life is always hard at times. You can’t replace that freedom and time with your kids. We wonder a lot today why kids and families are so distant, but didn’t we kind of set ourselves up for that? We put TV’s in each room, we put on the headphones, everyone runs off to work and their own place in the world. I’m not against these things, but I feel like we rely on them too much. We get stuck with habits we never really wanted. What did we have a family for if we are all going to spend our time apart, especially when kids are young and want and need parents.
Love what you guys are doing. This stop may just be a bump in the road. Shoot for what makes you all happiest.
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Love this line Justin: “And when in middle-class, American suburbia, you do as the middle-class do. It’s the way it is.”
Many people that live in a consumerism society will disagree with you and say they are not doing ‘as the middle-class’ does everyday, but we have the advantage of an outside perspective and see they are doing the same things as their neighbors.
The jump to living abroad for us was wonderful, exciting and really made us feel like we were pursuing our passions, living and working through the challenges and overcoming them as a family.
We spend all of our days together watching each of us grow, seeing the milestones in our children’s lives and relishing in the fact that we now really, really “GET” that life is an incredible journey, not a destination.
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Justin Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 5:27 am
@S King, Thanks Sabina.
Staying in one place long enough and you will start to blend in. There’s nothing wrong with that if you believe in what you’re blending in with. I just am a bit tired of it all. We want to get out and grow as you said. The world offers that and more. It is worth trying and doing.
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I LOVE this, so well put and exactly why most of us travel. I also can relate to feeling it is so many things that each day my answer changes. Now that we are in the constant travel mode I have found everything you have said to be true. The consistency thing gets brought up by family and friends all the time and next time I am going to say what you said here, they are happy where and when we are happy! My kids don’t feel uprooted at all, whatever hotel room we are in is HOME, because home isn’t a place it’s a feeling and when we are in such a state of togetherness there is no better feeling in the world!
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Justin Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 5:53 am
@Mary, Thanks Mary. We are coming off 5 days being together as a family. No school, office work, etc… It is awesome. Everything changes. The kids learn faster. We get more done and are happier. We play board games and football. There is just never time for this when we are running in every direction with so much on our plates.
I agree that a sense of comfort can be found anywhere, as long as you are happy and together. Thanks!
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Jennifer Pearce Reply:
January 8th, 2012 at 7:11 am
@Mary, I love that Mary! Thank you for stating it that way. Home IS a feeling! A wonderful feeling of sharing love together.
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This gives me goosebumps, Justin! It’s so exciting and so wonderful. I wish we had started a little earlier, before our kids could be so vociferously AGAINST taking our family trip, but I know that they will come around and that we will ALL be better for doing it.
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Justin Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 1:24 pm
@Paige AllOvertheMap, They will come around Paige. They will! Who knows who they will meet and what they will find out there. Go slow. Enjoy! I look forward to seeing what you guys do.
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Incredibly inspiring to hear this. Such an amazing opportunity for your kids and selves, thanks so much for sharing! Have a blast on this adventure!
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Justin Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 9:42 pm
@Cyclelogical, Thank You!
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“The world wasn’t meant to be glanced at through glass.”
WELL PUT!! Can’t wait to see your travels ahead of you!!!
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Justin Reply:
January 5th, 2012 at 5:37 am
@Living Outside of the Box, We’ll have to stop by!
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Hi Justin,
What a great outlook on life – and so very true…kids need parents who are positive and support them no matter what.
I think that being with kids and travelling is showing them more about the real world, and they can learn far more from life then they can from reading about it!
I also read once (cant remember where!) that its more selfish to be broke then it is to be rich, because the rich can give back more while the broke take – so what better way to live, then travelling and experiencing! That is the richest way of life
Cheers
Lisa
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Justin Reply:
January 5th, 2012 at 5:45 am
@Lisa Wood, Well, I hope we do get rich on experiences and information and can share that with the world. That always been a goal. There is more than one way to help people. Thanks Lisa!
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I love it. One day things “blew up.” And you can never put the pieces back together again Justin. There’s no turning back now! Not with all the kings horses and all the kings men!
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Justin Reply:
January 5th, 2012 at 5:46 am
@Clark Vandeventer, It’s blown all the way up! No going back now! Thanks Clark!
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This post is such a wonderful collaboration from two amazing families! Traveling with your kids is the least selfish thing you can do in my opinion. You give them your time, open the world to them and, undoubtedly, they will grow to be stronger and better people for it. I look forward to following your journey, Justin
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Justin Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
@Diya, Thanks so much Diya. I am realizing more and more how unselfish it really is. Great to get to know you!
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Justin,
I really like how you said, “The world wasn’t meant to be glanced at through glass.”
Here we are in this amazing world. Instead of remaining stuck somewhere feeling like we are stagnating in boring sameness, it just makes sense to go out to explore and experience new things. That is exactly how our family felt when we started our travel lifestyle a couple years ago.
My friend Jill over at http://www.goinganyway.net said it this way in her brilliant post entitled, Really Hard.
“Imagine if we had choice, but lived as if we didn’t? Imagine if we had the means, desire and opportunity to pursue a long held dream, and instead, just went with the flow? Imagine if we could, but never got around to it, and then it was too late? Living with that would be really hard.”
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That’s really well put, and true! You got to go right? I hope we all figure this out some day. Thanks Jenn.
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Great post! This covers the main reasons we choose to travel with our kids as well. And doing it as a vacation for 2 weeks a year just isn’t enough if the other 351 days of the year you’re stagnating in your growth, stressed out, or not experiencing anything new. I love my life!!!
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Nancy Reply:
January 9th, 2012 at 8:42 pm
@Brandon,
I think the key is that it needs to be good for both parents and kids. too many people feel parents should give up what makes them happy, but I think you should pursue your dreams and do it with the kids!
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Thanks Jenn for linking to my post!
And hi Nancy, you might remember I wrote to you months ago about your son and his breakthroughs in learning to read. You might be pleased to hear we have flown the coop and are now 2 months into our trip around SE Asia. Thanks so much for your inspirational writing… I read everything
Jill
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Nancy Reply:
January 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 am
@Jill,
YAY! I love hearing about other families who have decided to break out! Enjoy this time – it’s magic.
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